PART 2 – A Vivid Illustration – A Cancer or A Crown
As we look into the Word of God, we see a powerful portrait given of the influence of a wife, for good or for evil.
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband…”
First, the word “crown” in this verse means a crown, but comes from a word which means “to encircle (for attack or protection); especially to crown (literally or figuratively): –compass, crown”. Obviously, it can mean a crown, like the crown a king wears, (and I think we all like to think about being the “crowning glory” of our husbands), but it also has the idea of something that surrounds and protects, like the type of crown a dentist places on a tooth that has been repaired.
This is especially interesting to think about when you look at the contrast of the rest of the verse, “…but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
The word “rottenness” means “decay (by caries): — rottenness (thing).” Bones can mean literal bones or can refer to strength or something strong. (Definitions from Strong’s Concordance.)
So, where a virtuous woman strengthens, protects, and brings honor to her husband, a wife who makes her husband ashamed is like the inside of his bones rotting away. This is serious!
So, let’s hear the bad news first since we cannot correct problems we have not recognized and identified.
God makes quite a strong statement when He tells us that a wife who makes her husband ashamed is like rottenness in his bones! What does that mean?
A Wife Who Is Failing Her Husband
The wife “that maketh ashamed” is not the type of wife most women aspire to be. In this verse, we see the contrast of a wife who is pleasing to her husband and praised by God versus a wife who is damaging her husband. This wife who makes her husband ashamed, whether intentionally or inadvertently, is failing to be the type of wife she should be.
A Wife Who Is Forcing Her Husband
The Bible says she “maketh ashamed”. She is causing her husband to do something he doesn’t want to do. No man wants to be ashamed of his wife, and no man wants to be shamed by his wife. For many wives, whether they are aware of it or not, “making ashamed” is their means of control.
Whether it is by trying to be the Holy Spirit in their husband’s life, or trying to “mother” him, or some other form of “guilting him”, many women try to shame their husbands into doing what they want, or what they deem to be “good behavior”. It is important that we understand that even if this tactic appears to be successful on a temporary basis, it is extremely damaging to the foundation of a marriage relationship.
A Wife Who Is Fracturing Her Husband
Bones are the structure and support of a body, and as such, any disease of a bone is serious. We will see specifics later about the results of “rotten bones”, but it is important that we understand that when we make our husbands ashamed, we are weakening, damaging, and hurting them. Instead of being someone who fortifies our husbands, we are breaking them down.
Much like a cancer or cavity weakens the strength and shortens the life of a bone or tooth, so a shameful wife weakens her husband and can shorten her marriage.
What are some of the ways that a wife can shame her husband? We will examine seven ways a woman can shame her husband in Parts 3 and 4.
If you missed Part 1 of this post, you can find that here.