Part 8 – The Cure
The only way that any of us can truly succeed as wives is through the grace and power of God. Just as a cancer or even a cavity must have any decay or damaged tissue removed, any infection cleared up, and sometimes protective measures added, so we must be willing to repair and strengthen our marriages with the Lord’s help. How then do we acquire and apply the cure we need?
- Acknowledge your failures. (Ps. 51:3)
Be willing to be honest with yourself and with your spouse. It is easy to get defensive or to blame our failures on someone else, but the first step to change and healing is a willingness to take responsibility for our own actions. No excuses. No accusations.
- Ask for forgiveness. (I Jn. 1:9)
First, ask forgiveness from God.
In any area we know we have not obeyed the Lord, we need to ask His forgiveness. Whether it is a bad attitude, a lack of submission, an uncontrolled tongue or temper, or a myriad of other possibilities, we can receive forgiveness if we confess our sin to the Lord.
Just a reminder, confession is not “informing” the Lord of what I have done. He already knows. It is agreeing with Him and acknowledging that His view of my sin is right and my actions or attitudes were wrong, and asking for His forgiveness.
This one is always hard because swallowing our pride is a bitter pill; however, genuine repentance is necessary if our relationship is going to be restored and changed. We need to be careful not to just say, “I’m sorry if…” or “I’m sorry…”, but instead ask for forgiveness for the specific things we have done. Depending on the level of hurt already involved, the response may not be what we would hope for, but their response is not our responsibility; our repentance and change is.
- Act by faith (Pro. 3:5-6)
Trust & obey God’s blueprint for a godly wife. Don’t commit to doing right as a wife in order to improve your husband. Don’t commit to doing right as a wife in order to improve your marriage. Commit to doing right as a wife to be right with the Lord and to please Him, then trust Him to work in your husband’s heart if that is needed. Trust Him to help your relationship to be what He would have it to be.
Genuine faith requires obedience. Some practical ways to take steps of obedience are:
* Make a list of the areas where you find yourself struggling. Perhaps ask your husband to read through these posts and tell you where he feels you need to improve.
* Make each area a matter of serious prayer. Be specific!
* Take that list and write down the biblical response in each area. What are specific ways you need to make changes?
You may not be able to accomplish all of them in a day, but pray about each one and be willing and obedient as the Lord shows you from His Word things you need to do. Many verses have been listed in this study, but there are many more, and the Lord will bring more to your attention in specific areas if you are seeking His help. Read them. Memorize them. Meditate on them. Put the principles and commands He gives into practice.
- Ask for filling.
Pray and ask God to fill you with His Spirit. When we walk in the Spirit, we do not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). The Holy Spirit can teach us how to be the wives our husbands need. He can give the healing our marriages need. He can give us wisdom and power to carry out His will. The question is, do we want Him to? Are we willing to obey His commands and be sensitive to His promptings?
I encourage you to allow and trust the Lord to fashion you into a crown that is both beautiful and glorifying to Himself and your husband.